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Friday, June 19, 2015

Listen Up Transphobes (And Cis Allies)

Warning: This post has a lot of language cause I'm fucking angry

Okay, listen up transphobic assholes and supportive people alike. Yes, even a bunch of "pro-trans" people (What the fuck does that even mean? Wow, you're pro allowing me to exist, thanks, have some goddamn brownie points) are pissing me off, so let's go ahead and talk about why. I'm going to tell you the things that need to stop. Right. Now.

Don't fucking say to just "ignore it"

Oh if I had a dollar for every time someone tells me that I just need to "ignore the comments" or "just don't pay attention to the headlines." Seriously, there are people that tell me  to just not look at the headlines. People are telling me to just keep quiet about constant fucking murders. Hey, so, I'm gonna tell you something shocking.
IGNORING A PROBLEM AND KEEPING QUIET ABOUT IT DOESN'T FUCKING MAKE IT DISAPPEAR. Do you really fucking think racism declined because we just ignored it and didn't talk about it? Does anyone really think that's how it works? Hey, I know you're literally DYING but just pretend it's not happening. Thanks, you fucking ass.

Stop saying that it's "not your problem" or "not your place to talk about"

This one is golden. Cis people saying they don't talk about it or speak out against it cause it's "not their place." I'm sorry,l I didn't realize speaking out against hate and discrimination and murder was only the place of certain people. But hey guess what.
Trans people have been speaking out against this shit for a long time. And ya know what? IT'S STILL FUCKING HAPPENING! Did you ever think that maybe we want other people to talk about cause we need some FUCKING help? We ARE being proactive, but we're not enough, we need others to speak out.
If you say this, just be honest about what you mean. What you really mean is "I'm a lazy piece of shit that doesn't give enough fucks about your literal life to try to help me." So just admit it, you're an apathetic fuckface.

Don't tone police me (Or any trans people)

"Ya know," you're saying in your head, "maybe people would listen more if you spoke more calmly and didn't use so many cuss words." You then sat back smugly, feeling superior for your well reasoned comment. Dear all those people, FUCK OFF!
Yeah, sorry that I don't particularly care about your sensitive ears. Ya know what's going on? 13 TRANS PEOPLE HAVE BEEN STRAIGHT UP FUCKING MURDERED THIS YEAR! But please, tell me more about how I shouldn't use such language while I literally fear for my goddamn life. I think I have the right to have a bit of FUCKING rage.

Stop fucking saying that I'll "be ok"

I know you're trying to be supportive and comfort me, but shut your mouth. You don't know that I'll be ok. I have extreme possibilities of being assaulted, raped, and murdered. I fear for my safety most of my life. And a generic unhelpful comment that you can't know isn't going to do jack shit for me. You know what you should do instead?

Tell me you'll help me (And actually help me)

You know what happened when I told my boyfriend about my fears? He told me he would protect me. He told me that he would be the one to keep me safe. And that is infinitely better than just a generic "you'll be ok" comment.
And you know what else helps? When people fucking mean it. I have a friend that told me anytime she's available she'll be there for me. And guess what? When I was suicidal, she let me come over spontaneously just to talk and cry. People have helped me pay to continue transitioning. Coworkers (And even my team lead) has said they will openly defend me if someone is an asshole.
What I'm saying is I want more than words. I want you to actually help and to say you will. Saying "things will get better" is bullshit. Saying "I will make sure things are better" is love.

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