The term “passing” is thrown around a lot during any
discussion centered around someone that’s transgender. It’s pretty much
impossible not to hear it. The concept of a trans person looking so much like
the social expectation of their gender that people don’t guess they’re trans.
It’s held up as a pedestal for trans people as the end goal, the ultimate
achievement in transdom. And we really need to stop talking about it like that.
Now don’t get me wrong, I need to be very clear. There is nothing
wrong with being a trans person that “passes.” And yes, I would even like to
hopefully pass, but not for my own image. Truthfully, it would be more for my
own safety and sanity. So that people will recognize me as my gender, so that I
won’t get attacked or insulted for not passing or people obviously telling I’m
trans. I want it out of necessity, and that is a scary thing.
Now cis (Non-trans) people think saying someone is passing
is a high compliment. And to many, it can be to some people! But overall we
need to really critically think about what we are saying when we use passing as
a compliment.
When we praise the act of passing, we are declaring that they
fit the minimum social expectations of how their gender is “supposed” to look,
as though there is a way that men and women are “supposed” to look. When we
praise passing we are saying “Good thing no one will be able to guess you are
trans!” We talk about it as though physically looking like you’re transgender
is this step along the ultimate path to hiding being transgender.
And why? Why the hell should anyone need to do that? Why
should anyone be expected to not look
like they are transgender? We are in a culture that is still defining us as bad,
undesirable or ugly. We pretend that things are so good for trans people
because, hey, the law (In some places at least) says I deserve access to medical
care, the right bathroom, the right changing room, and the ability to make
legal documents reflect my gender. Oh good, the law says I’m a human being that
can be herself! Soooo progressive!!!
And yet we still harbor those attitudes of trans people
being this other category, this different thing. No one wants to “look trans.”
But why not? If there is nothing wrong with being transgender, then why do we
hold up the highest achievement to be being able to hide being transgender? “Oh, there’s nothing wrong with you! But if
you could please fit into these neat boxes of what is male and what is female,
that’d be great, thanks.”
I’ve seen many comments before where a transgender girl that
has not had hormones will be wearing feminine clothes, make up, and a dress and
someone will say “Well, she really obviously looks like a dude trying to be a
girl.” No, she doesn’t! You know what she looks like? Herself. And that self is
a woman. And she doesn’t need to fit into your category of what a woman should
look like in order to be a woman. And neither do any trans people. That trans guy
can have boobs and wear make-up if he wants. And guess what? He’s still a guy.
That trans girl can wear her cargo pants. She’s still a girl. That trans guy
can carry his purse. And well whaddya know, still a guy! If a cis guy carried a
purse we still say he’s a guy, which should it be different for a trans guy?
I won’t pretend I don’t want to pass one day. Remember, I need to. There is a necessity to it. The
world is a scary place to be trans. And just cause we have laws finally saying
we’re people with human rights doesn’t mean things are great for us. If we go
out looking “obviously trans” there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Because trans beauty is just as beautiful as cis beauty. And unfortunately, the
world doesn’t see that. So we’re fired, we’re beaten, we’re killed, we’re
suicidal, we’re pushed away, we’re kicked out of homes, we’re kicked out of
families, and we’re told that we don’t belong.
So don’t tell us “things are getting better” or “you’re
going to be ok” or “I’m sure you’ll be able to pass one day.” Stop holding up
trans people as “Look how beautifully someone assigned male at birth can pass
as a cis woman!” We have a right to exist as
trans people, not just if we’re essentially pretend cis people. Start telling
us you’ll protect us, recognize us as our true genders. Don’t tell us that we “Look
so beautiful for being trans” or that we “pass so well” and start telling us we’re
beautiful. Period.
No comments:
Post a Comment